Caught Stealing

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

So Dumb

A dumb blonde went into a department store for a new TV.

She said to the manager, "How much is this TV?"

The manager said, "I don't sell my products to dumb blondes."

So the blonde dyed her hair brown and she went back into the store. "How much is this TV?"

The manager said, "I don't sell my products to dumb blondes."

The blonde said, "How did YOU know?"

The manager said, "Because that's not a TV. It's a microwave.